Natural Speech

            A few weeks ago in church, we sang the hymn "A Christian Home." I've sung it before (it's a favorite of my dad's to sing on Mother's/Father's Day because of the opening lines about godly fathers and mothers), but I had never before really closely listened to or thought about the words. As the hymn swirled around in my brain throughout the following week, I kept getting caught up in the word's of the third verse:

"O give us homes where Christ is Lord and Master,

The Bible read, the precious hymns still sung;

Where prayer comes first in peace or in disaster,

And praise is natural speech to ev'ry tongue;

Where mountains move before a faith that's vaster

And Christ sufficient is for old and young."

All of those thoughts are powerful: a home in which Christ is both Lord and Master; a home in which reading the Bible is done consistently and without drudgery and where the old hymns are sung with joy regardless of their "oldness"; a home where prayer is ceaseless in times of peace and times of disaster; a home that functions outside of the realm of what's normal because of faith that can move mountains; a home that thrives on the sufficiency of Christ. Rich and beautiful thoughts. But you all noticed I skipped one, didn't you? "And praise is natural speech to ev'ry tongue." I don't know about you, but praise is not natural speech to my tongue on most days. My natural speech is generally whiny and full of complaints, and as I sang this verse over and over again, it became the prayer of my heart. A home, a life where praise is my natural speech.

            You see, before singing this hymn in church, I was already struggling with a serious bout of spiritual apathy. I've always been quick to be judgmental towards overly emotional spirituality. I've been in environments where those emotions were a gross display of hypocrisy. It seemed (especially in college) that I would see these Christians who raised their hands, swayed to the music, prayed gushy prayers, and even occasionally wept and wailed all without any sign that their life was affected by this worship after they left the church or chapel service. Yet, I had to realize, aren't I doing a similar thing in my own life? I know what I believe, and I follow it too. I am generally morally upright (on the surface at least, if not in my core), and I can hold my own in theology discussions with people triple my age. But where is my joy? Where is my worship? Where is my praise? It certainly isn't natural speech to my tongue, but oh how I want it to be!

            I feel like a child who needs to learn how to speak, but instead of words, I need to learn praise. And like a child just learning to speak, there will be times when my praise comes out sounding silly or is expressed wrongly, but I can never learn if I never try. So I cry with David "O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise" till praise is natural speech to my tongue.

Sincerely,
 

Happy (Beautiful) Summer.

It's officially summer! The weather is hot and sticky. Everyday seems to be accompanied by a "chance of scattered thunderstorms." And my bedtime song for The Kid seems entirely incorrect (the sun is at rest? Nuh-uh). Summer and I have a love/hate relationship. Well, I guess I don't know how summer feels about my, but I love and hate summer. Though I've gotta say, with the new job perks of air conditioning and a pool, I'm loving this summer a lot more than hating.

The Kid and I ventured into the pool for the first time this week after a long and frustrating process of switching it over to a saltwater pool (I didn't even know that was possible, but apparently it's a thing here on the Island). She loves the pool, and (nanny bonus!!!) it seems to tire her out just enough so that she goes down for naps and bedtime like a dream.

The Kid was, not surprisingly, very excited as we prepped for our first adventure in the pool. I got her all decked out in her super cute, leopard print swimsuit, and then we head down to my apartment for me to don my swimsuit. Now, this is part of my hate for summer--swimsuits. For all of you who know me (which I'm pretty sure is everyone who reads this blog) and for all of you who just saw the picture above, it will come as no shock to you that I definitely do not have a "swimsuit ready" body. And while I am normally comfortable enough with myself, swimsuits, I'm pretty sure, were created for the sole purpose of making even the skinniest of women self-conscious. Nevertheless, I love the water, so on went the swimsuit. As I adjusted the straps of the suit with a grimace, I was quite surprised to hear The Kid squeal out with glee, hands flailing in the air with excitement 

"You're gonna look so pretty in the pool, Jojo! You look so pretty right now!"

I related this tale to my dear friend Liz after she told me about her eight-year-old brother who replied to her comment that she was being a silly girl with "No, Sissy, you are perfect and beautiful." Liz's response to our separate but similar stories was "This is innocence for you. The world hasn't taught them to see beauty yet. They see it without the world's ideas."

They see beauty without the world's (often false) ideas.

A friend once commented on a picture I posted on Facebook complimenting me on my ability to "marvel at a child's world" and "see through a child's eyes." Those words were such a blessing to read (and not just because she told me that my future children would be richly blessed to have me as their mother). They were a blessing because there is something wonderful about the way a child sees the world, and I am honored to think that in some ways, I can still see that way. Even Jesus told his followers to have faith like a child. There is just something unique about a child's worldview.

I'm hoping to see a lot through a child's eyes this summer. Maybe I will come to love summer even more and hate it a lot less. I want to find beauty in the sunshine, in the clouds, in the blue skies, in the sand, in the heat, in the "chance of scattered thunderstorms," and in the squeal of children jumping into pools and racing through sprinklers. And I want to find beauty in people and tell them when I see it. Sometimes I think that as firm believers in "total depravity" of man, we tend to overlook the fact that all humans are still created by and in the image of God, and in them there is often beauty.

Yes, even in overweight nannies forced into skin tight swimsuits.

Sincerely,
  

Kidiversary

The Kid shortly after I first met her

One year ago today, I (kinda) nervously boarded a bus over to an area of Brooklyn I wasn't super familiar with to meet with a family who needed a summer nanny. I knew nothing about the place I was going besides the address and that it was a second floor apartment, and I knew practically nothing about the family I was going to see besides the fact that they had a two-year-old and her mom was a nurse. Now, if you know me at all, you know that this is just the kind of situation that would make me super nervous. But I wasn't. There was a slight case of butterflies in the tummy, but I mostly felt incredibly calm. The commute was long(ish), but easy. And the family? Well, they were just right. From the moment I stepped into their home I felt comfortable and at ease. I spent two hours there that day getting to know The Kid and her family. Less than an hour in, she was crawling into my lap and trying to feed me strawberries from her fruit salad.

The Kid at the end of my first summer with her

I have always gravitated toward children, and they usually gravitate towards me. If there's a baby in the room, I want to be holding him/her. Just last month, I met one of my boyfriend's friends and his family/neighbors on Memorial Day. There was a shy, little two-year-old girl who didn't really go to anyone she didn't like and avoided men. By the end of the afternoon she was happily snuggled in my arms as I sat right next to my boyfriend (a strange young man *gasp*). However, most people who work with children will tell you that you don't warm to all children the same way. You may love all children and be great with them, but there are just some children who find an extra special place in your heart. The Kid is definitely one of those special children. She was even before they offered me a long term position.

Today is my Kidiversary--one special year with one special Kid. I am so looking forward to the upcoming year. It's gonna be great.

The Kid Today (picture stolen from her mother as today is my day off, and they are out having happy family adventures. Go them! :D)

Sincerely,
 

Nanny Confessions

1. Sometimes I tell The Kid she can play for ten more minutes and then tell her time's up after five.
2. I don't always know what type of animal her cracker is, so I make it up.
3. Sometimes The Kid asks to do something that I don't want to do, so I tell her we can do it after her nap hoping she'll forget. Sometimes she does, and sometimes she doesn't.
4. Nap time is as much for my sanity as it for her rest.
5. I like when she wants to play outside because she tends to play more independently outside and I can work on my tan (or lack thereof).
6. I really wanted to put on my swimsuit and join her in the sprinklers at the park today.
7. She loves bath time. I hate it.
8. I time how long it takes me to get her to sleep at night. Partly because it helps me to know how long she's been trying/fighting me, and partly because I'm always trying to beat my personal best (by the way, it's two and a half minutes).
9. It's really hard not to laugh when she says inappropriate things ("Me no even like this friggin' thing in my friggin' mouth).
10. I will never get tired of hearing her say "dear, God" during her nighttime prayer in her tiny, little Brooklyn accent ("dear, Gawd")

Sincerely,

The Sweetest Sound in All the World

I sound like a broken record. Everyday, it's the same phrases.

"Don't do that. You're going to hurt yourself."
"Stop screaming. That behavior is unacceptable"
"No."
"Come here. I'm not going to chase you."
"What do you need to say?"
"How do you ask?. . . Please, what?"
"What do you say?"

Those last two are the worst. Even on a good day, when I don't need to reprimand, calm, or correct, I still repeat those two. Over. And. Over.

Because manners matter. Because gratitude is important.

And just when I'm tired of saying it, when I feel like it will never stick, she says it. Without prompting, without coaching, without begging, she says it. In her tiny, (sometimes) soft voice, she says it.

"Please, may I have a snack, please, Jojo?"

"Nank you for this, Jojo."

Yes, you may, my precious girl. You are very, very welcome. I'd do it all again just for those sweet, sweet words--the sweetest sound in all the world.

Sincerely,
 

Sunshine on a Cloud Day

Yesterday was horrendously rainy. We're talking flash flood rain. While I normally love rain, it makes for a looooong day with The Kid trapped in the house. Even though she slept till 9 and took a one hour nap, it was still feeling like the never ending day. So we decided to get crafty. Or rather, I decided and she followed along. We attempted a craft I found on Pinterest. Luckily, I had all the supplies on hand, and it involved paint--The Kid's favorite!

We made a handprint sun using a paper plate. The Kid thought it was pretty fantastic, but she didn't like having her hand traced for the sun's "rays." So our sun is a little short on rays.

All in all, I good choice for this rainy day.

The Kid has also started creating dialogue for her dolls while she plays with them. Her most recent favorite is to have The Beast Ken doll threaten her Belle Barbie doll. "Come to dinner or my gonna break down the door!!" Can you tell what movie we watch all the time?

Sincerely,
 

So You're a. . . Nanny??

Random Acquaintance: So what do you do??
Me: I'm a full-time, live-in nanny.
Random Acquaintance: (chose one or more of the following responses)

• "Oh. . . that's nice."
• "You spent for years in college to be a nanny?"
• "Oh, cause you couldn't get a teaching job mid year, right? But you'll be looking in the fall."
• "Well that must be a fun and easy job!"

Since starting my job in December I have received each of those responses several times. People who don't know me well can hardly seem to grasp that I'm doing this because *gasp* I want to.

• Why yes, it is nice, isn't it? 
• Yes, I did spend four years in college to be a nanny. I also spent four years in college to hopefully someday be a stay-at-home mom which will give me no income. At least I'm getting paid for this.
• I didn't think it would be easy to get a teaching job mid year, but that's not why I took this job. And no, I won't be looking in the fall. I took this job for at least 18 months.
• Yes, it is fun. But it is also hard. You try being trapped in the house for 13 hours with a screaming two-year-old who refuses to take a nap and throws a tantrum every 10 minutes. Having fun yet?*

However, I think my all time favorite question is the one that I seem to be asked all the time by stay-at-home moms: "So what exactly do you do??"

Well, I do everything you do with your child on a daily basis. . .

I dress her and do her hair.

I take her on walks.

I clean the jelly off of her after I feed her.

I feed her.

I take her to the park.

I snuggle her when she's tired.

And I snuggle her when she's sick.

I play with her outside.

I do hand tattoos.

I potty trained her (and Belle).

I do crafts with her.

I put her in time out.

I do silly with her.

I put her to sleep at night.

I love her.

. . .only I get paid for it.

Sincerely,
 


*In defense of The Kid, these types of days are few and far between, but that doesn't mean the other days are stress free. Nannying, like parenting, is exhausting, draining, and stressful. But oh so worth it.