Mine, Mine, Mine, But His First

            I tend to be pretty possessive. Not so much about things (although like the typical American, I do like my stuff), but about people. They're my friends, my family, my kiddo, my man. I think it's partly because I like to take care of people and to be there for them. If they have a problem, I want to fix it. I tend to invest in people, and the more I invest in them, the more I think of them as mine.

            For the most part, this works for me. However, there are some times when it just doesn't work. For example, when they have a problem I can't fix, this doesn't work for me. If something is yours and it's broken, you fix it. But sometimes, your things (or people) that you want must to fix, you just can't fix. That's when it helps me to remember that the while the people I love are mine in a sense, they belong first and foremost to Someone so much greater than I. What I can't fix, He can if He so chooses. Why do I struggle so much with surrendering them to Him? I can't seem to handle losing control for even one minute even though it means that they'll be taken much better care of. In fact, it's often easier for me to surrender my own problems to Him than to surrender the problems of those whom I love, my loved ones.

            How much greater is His love for them than my own? He is their creator, and what He created was good. Yes, we messed it up. But it was good, and He wants it to be good again. That's why He provided a redeemer "Christ Jesus whom God put forward as a propitiation by His blood, to be received by faith." For those I love who love Him as well, He works all things together for good. Now if only I can remember that. . .

Sincerely,
 

Kites, Ladybugs, and Lollipops

While my dad may have been a little less than thrilled that I chose not to "use my degree" in the typical way, I have loved "using my degree" to teach The Kid. I put "use my degree" in quotes because so far I think most of what I've done with The Kid has been common sense stuff. You want your kid to learn the alphabet? You show them the alphabet and train them to recognize letters.

With The Kid, we began by singing the ABCs because she loves to sing. For a while, since it was hard for her to produce the letter names in the song, it was mostly just her hearing me and others sing the ABCs. I used it a lot while we were potty training her. She never wanted to stay on the potty long enough to actually go, so I told her she had to stay seated while I sang through the ABCs. She usually made it till about the letter p before she started going. ;)

Next, I made flash cards of all of the letters. I know flashcards are to some outdated and believed to teach by memorization apart from true understanding, but honestly, she's two. She's not really going to grasp the alphabetic principle right away. By using the flashcards, The Kid was able to see the letters easily and get used to working with them. After going over the flashcards once, she began to ask to "do my ABCs." Since the only letter she remembered was a, after saying "doesn't know" to several cards, she began to take the cards herself, point to them, and mimicking my tone of voice say "What one is that?"

Last week we started to work on individual letters. I started with the letter k because before they moved to Staten Island, her mother had her enrolled in a mommy and me preschool. In the preschool, they were making an ABC book and had covered a-j. For k, we made a kite. She picked up on the letter really well and now recognizes it and can tell you what sound it makes.

This week we worked on the letter L. We started by reading The Grouchy Ladybug. We made a lady bug, but The Kid decided that her ladybug was going to be a friendly ladybug not a grouchy one.

I love how she put the dots in straight lines.
Can you tell her mother and I are just a little OCD?
 We're training her well.

 Next we made a lollipop. This one was  a lot of fun because she got to squish paint with her hands. She loved it! She also colored some k and l pictures. Obviously, she liked the crafts a little bit more.

We also started reading Chicka Chicka Boom Boom and making our very own alphabet coconut tree. I order a bulletin board tree cutout on Amazon. I also found someone who had made a pdf of the letters which I printed out and laminated so they would last. So far we have k and l on our tree. However, The Mom and I decided that we should backtrack and recover the letters she learned in mommy and me preschool because she doesn't remember those. She can identify a and sometimes b, but that's really it. So next week, we'll be covering a. I'm sensing some apple crafts.

 

Sincerely,
 

Introducing. . . The Kid, Or How I've Spent the 3 Months Since Graduation

            Last summer, I was a nanny for the cutest little two-year-old on the face of the planet. I mentioned her here and began to refer to her The Kid, or The Kiddo. Toward the end of my time with them, The Mom told me that they were looking into buying a house on Staten Island with a basement apartment for a live-in nanny. While they knew this would be a pretty big change for me, they wanted to offer me the position because The Kid and I got along so well. So I prayed about it and talked about with my family. While I knew I could make more using my degree in the public school, a position was not guaranteed, and I did love The Kid quite a bit. After a few months in which The Family interviewed another nanny and I completed most of my student teaching, they offered me the position and I accepted. So, the day after officially finishing my college coursework, I moved into my new apartment, and two days after, I started my new job.

            I've been here three months now, and I can officially say I LOVE my job. The Kid is brilliant, hysterical, and adorable. And I'm only a little biased ;) Considering most of my time is spent with this wee one, she'll probably provide me with a lot of the material for this here blog. So I thought I should introduce her. If you're friends with me on Facebook, you already know A LOT about The Kid. Hopefully, I'll be able to share some of the longer funny stories on here. For obvious reasons, her picture won't appear here, but I'll tell you a bit her. She'll be three in June, she loves singing, dancing, Disney, swimming, and Adele. So we spend our days singing, dancing (to Adele), watching/reading/playing/dancing to Disney, and talking about when it will be warm enough to go swimming. We're also working on learning our alphabet and counting. Have I mentioned she's brilliant?

I may not post pictures of her, but I can post pictures of what she does to me, or in this case, makes me wear.

Apparently, the green St. Paddy's Day shades weren't enough. We had to add the bunny ears.

Sincerely,
 

Holy Lack of Posts, Batman!

Not that lack of posts are holy. Or even something noteworthy considering practically no one reads this blog.  (Please, don't hate me for calling you no one if you are someone who reads this blog). It's just a saying. . .

Anyways, I have no excuse for not posting for hmm, let's see. . . six months? Yeah, six months. But I haven't exactly done a ton of interesting things either. So you're really not missing much. I finished the first semester of my senior year, served on my first (and hopefully last) jury, watched one of my best and dearest friends get married, got a job as a part time nanny, went to the Bronx Zoo with my boyfriend and bought Josiah the Red Panda, spent some time visiting at the hospital when my dad had a pulmonary embolism and spent a whole week there, headed to Maine for a week with my boyfriend and two other super close friends, ended my job as a nanny (much to my sadness) so that I could start student teaching, and started student teaching three days after Labor Day. So that was my six months in a nutshell. There's no accurate way to sum up the highs and lows of a summer, but this one was crazy and uneventful all at the same time. The scary part? I have absolutely no idea what next year holds. Maybe nannying, maybe grad school, maybe teaching?? Hopefully I'll actually remember to post about some of the interesting things I do. But don't count on it. . .

And for good measure, some pictures.

Ali's Wedding

Giraffes at the Bronx Zoo!

Take your boyfriend to work day. They're making me tea.

Josiah the Red Panda begins his travels.

Nate and Shelby in Maine

Eric and I in Maine

Maine!!

Sincerely,
 

On Learning to Trust

I have always been the girl who knew what she was doing. From the age of 8, I have known what I would study in college. From the age of 14, I have had a full plan for my life complete with two backup plans to pull into service depending on which part of plan A fell apart. Cause I'm crazy like that. (I maintain that everyone has their own brand of crazy, mine is obsessive planning. What's yours?)

I mentioned to my boyfriend a couple months ago how I needed a plan regarding a particular aspect of the future. He asked my how my obsessive need for planing left room for the Lord's leading. I told Him if God changed my plans, I'd be okay with that, but I have to have a plan. You know that expression eat your words? Yeah. That's what I've been wishing I could do for the past month.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. ~Jeremiah 29:11

Because the truth is it's easy to say you're okay with God flipping your plans upside down when He's never done so. Now, it would be a bit dramatic for me to say that's what happened to me. But God definitely threw me for a curve. And I know it was a God thing for his fingerprints were all over this past month.

Let not your heart envy sinners,
but continue in the fear of the Lord all the day.
Surely there is a future,
and your hope will not be cut off.
~Proverbs 23:17-18

It was a series of events and conversations all culminating with a conversation with my favorite college professor. The day before that conversation, I went for a walk on which I thought through everything that had happened over the last month. Tons of facts and questions filled my mind. I was anxious and nervous about my plans for the future.

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. ~Matthew 6:34

So I met with my professor. And without me having to explain she addressed every single question and anxiety I had. Every. Single. One. And I cried. And I know it was God. Because after the tears, I accepted and had peace. Peace like I have not had in a month. I stopped worrying (well, mostly) and began to trust that while it is not my plan, it is the right plan.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:4-7

Now I'm looking at grad schools. And I'm slightly terrified, but I'm trusting.

"To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
O my God, in you I trust;
let me not be put to shame;
let not my enemies exult over me.
Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame;
they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.
Make me to know your ways, O Lord;
teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth and teach me,
for you are the God of my salvation;
for you I wait all the day long.
Remember your mercy, O Lord, and your steadfast love,
for they have been from of old.
Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions;
according to your steadfast love remember me,
for the sake of your goodness, O Lord!
Good and upright is the Lord;
therefore he instructs sinners in the way.
He leads the humble in what is right,
and teaches the humble his way.
All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness,
for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies."
~Psalm 25:1-10

And for my boyfriend, some verses about trees.

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.
He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit."
~Jeremiah 17:7-8

Sincerely,

He Is Risen!

One of my favorite parts of being homeschooled was that my mom never made me do the "stupid" assignments. You know, those assignments that you're teacher gives you, and you just think they're a huge waste of time? Yeah, my mom always skipped them. But once, when I was in about fourth grade, my mom didn't skip one of the "stupid" assignments. I guess she didn't think it was stupid, but I sure did. The assignment was to interview an elderly person. After much sighing and moaning, I chose to interview my grandmother. It seemed to make sense at the time as I am named after her. My first name, Carol, comes from her, not my middle name which is what I go by. Anyway, by the time I was finished "interviewing" my grandmother, I still thought it was a "stupid" assignment. And looking back on it, I still clearly remember her answers to two of the questions I asked her. Just two, but hey, I was only nine.

One question was what is one invention/discovery that happened during your lifetime. Her answer was penicillin. She was a nurse, so it makes sense that penicillin would be what she considered most important. It blew my mind that my grandmother had lived in a time when penicillin wasn't in use. The other question was what is your favorite holiday. Her answer was Easter. I have never forgotten that. At the young age of nine, I couldn't imagine why Easter would be anyone's favorite holiday. I mean, it was warm and springy, and I got free candy. But favorite? Better than Thanksgiving? Better than Christmas? Impossible. Or is it?

Now, eleven years later, I tend to agree with my grandmother. While there's still something more "holiday-ish" about Christmas, there's something even more special about Easter. And the reason for this was part of my grandmother's answer. But at the age of nine, I couldn't, or didn't, understand.

Now if Christ is proclaimed as raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? But if there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain. We are even found to be misrepresenting God, because we testified about God that he raised Christ, whom he did not raise if it is true that the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied. 1 Corinthians 15:12-19

What I didn't understand at the young age of nine was the truth made clear in 1 Corinthians 15. The truth that my faith, what drives much was what I think, say, and do, is pointless if Christ is not risen. If we worship an unrisen Christ, "we are of all people most to be pitied." We have no hope. What we celebrate at Easter is the rising of Christ which gives us hope in this life and the next. What could bring more joy than that?


Sincerely,

Cool Like That

Reason number 4, 573 (yes, I did just make that number up) why I love my boyfriend--because when I text him telling him that I'm googling window seats, he doesn't tell me I'm crazy or wonder why.

He just sends me a link to some flowers that would look wonderful planted outside to be gazed upon from said window seat.

Cause he's cool like that.

Sincerely,